// fortune cookies  Copyright 2010 Jerry Whiting. All rights reserved.  www.jetcityorange.com  jetcityorange@gmail.com  04apr10

var quotes=new Array()

quotes[0]='Don&rsquo;t do anything you&rsquo;d be embarassed to tell your grandmother at the Thanksgiving table.<br />'

quotes[1]='If you really want to get to know your spouse, divorce them. All will be revealed.<br />'

quotes[2]='If you can&rsquo;t write it down, you probably can&rsquo;t pull it off.<br />'

quotes[3]='Getting old is a good problem to have when one considers the alternative.<br />'

quotes[4]='Do you think it would make a difference if everyone prayed all at once? Let&rsquo;s try it.<br />'

quotes[5]='When have you ever not read a fortune cookie?<br />'

quotes[6]='In the end we all get 24 a day, 7 a week, 365 & &#188; a year. How are you going to use yours?<br />'

quotes[7]='Life is gray, rarely black and white. Absolutes are for the immature among us.<br />'

quotes[8]='Stop for a minute and think how much your letter carrier knows about you.<br />'

quotes[9]='We&rsquo;ve been going through your garbage for several months now and we have just a few questions for you...<br />'

quotes[10]='Your trash around April 15th: an identity thief&rsquo;s goldmine.<br />'

quotes[11]='A true entrepreneur is more concerned with her/his business&rsquo; credit rating than their own.<br />'

quotes[12]='As long as you&rsquo;re going to work for an asshole, you might as well work for yourself.<br />'

quotes[13]='Your doctor, your lawyer, your accountant, and your therapist: those you never want to lie to.<br />'

quotes[14]='What do you mean &ldquo;Jerry Lewis isn&rsquo;t French&rdquo;?<br />'

quotes[15]='Everyone wants and needs family.<br />'

quotes[16]='What tribe do you claim as your own?<br />'

quotes[17]='Is playing the lottery part of your retirement portfolio?<br />'

quotes[18]='I ain&rsquo;t lost. I got a watch that points north and a compass that tells time.<br />'

quotes[19]='If you&rsquo;re the yardstick, how will you know if you don&rsquo;t measure up?<br />'

quotes[20]='No, none of my change is spare. Thanks for asking though.<br />'

quotes[21]='If you dream that you&rsquo;re having a heart attack, you better wake up and check.<br />'

quotes[22]='Hate your job? Why do you think they call it work?<br />'

quotes[23]='Disappointed by others? Try lowering your standards.<br />'

quotes[24]='It&rsquo;s easier to save money than to make more.<br />'

quotes[25]='Money is not the only reason people work.<br />'

quotes[26]='Does your car&rsquo;s gas tank eat tens or twenties?.<br />'

quotes[27]='He&rsquo;s got more excuses than a virgin on prom night.<br />'

quotes[28]='When you see a wet paint sign on something, do you rush up and touch it?<br />'

quotes[29]='You&rsquo;re almost home riding the bus when suddenly it occurs to you that you drove today.<br />'

quotes[30]='Do you dream in black and white or in colour?<br />'

quotes[31]='What was the weirdest question someone ever asked you in a job interview? How did you answer it?<br />'

quotes[32]='When was the last time you had to call your own cell phone after misplacing it?<br />'

quotes[33]='When was the last time you changed your toothbrush? Isn&rsquo;t it about time to change it again?<br />'

quotes[34]='I can honestly say, I&rsquo;ve never met an IPA I didn&rsquo;t like.<br />'

quotes[35]='Business travel is only glamourous to those who don&rsquo;t do it. Believe you me.<br />'

quotes[36]='If you can&rsquo;t laugh at yourself, you&rsquo;re going to make the rest of us feel guilty for laughing at you.<br />'

quotes[37]='What&rsquo;s your reaction when you find out someone has a tattoo you didn&rsquo;t know about before?<br />'

quotes[38]='The four basic food groups: fat, salt, sugar, and flourescence.<br />'

quotes[39]='Putting your office key in your front door? Then it&rsquo;s time for a vacation.<br />'

quotes[40]='An old man walking an old dog down the street. Who&rsquo;s walking who here?<br />'

quotes[41]='Poor, adj. as in you hold your breath every time you use your credit card.<br />'

quotes[42]='You know it&rsquo;s Middle America when a hotel&rsquo;s entire housekeeping staff is white. And they all speak English. Only English.<br />'

quotes[43]='How fast do I drive? How fast do I drive? So fast the bat outta Hell is following me!<br />'

quotes[44]='Superficial look&rsquo;n&rsquo;feel issues aside, knock-offs are rarely as good as the original.<br />'

quotes[45]='If it&rsquo;s not what you want, it isn&rsquo;t a bargain at any price.<br />'

quotes[46]='An article of clothing is only as good as its zipper and/or buttons.<br />'

quotes[47]='Expensive cars: if you can&rsquo;t park it, don&rsquo;t drive it.<br />'

quotes[48]='It&rsquo;s OK to make mistakes.  It&rsquo;s not OK to make the mistake over and over again.<br />'

quotes[49]='Well and good. One&rsquo;s an adverb, the other an adjective. Never confuse the two.<br />'

quotes[50]='If you still have loose change in your pocket at night, you didn&rsquo;t tip enough during the day. Tip enough to change someone&rsquo;s life.<br />'

quotes[51]='One of those days when your only goal is to get through the day with your sense of humor intact.<br />'

quotes[52]='Don&rsquo;t light fuses you can&rsquo;t put out.<br />'

quotes[53]='Maybe it&rsquo;s just me but doesn&rsquo;t banana nut bread always seem raw and undercooked until you toast it?.<br />'

quotes[54]='You write the script that is your life. Don&rsquo;t stutter reading your own lines.<br />'

quotes[55]='Language proficiency can be measured in how well you understand jokes and can flirt.<br />'

quotes[56]='Is your house haunted? Would you tell someone if it was?<br />'

quotes[57]='Youth has less baggage, more time, and less to lose.<br />'

quotes[58]='Ain&rsquo;t my ranch. Just a hired hand. Take it up with management.<br />'

quotes[59]='Being self-employed is not for the faint of heart.<br />'

quotes[60]='Attitude: don&rsquo;t leave home without it.<br />'

quotes[61]='Cab drivers know the best shortcuts.<br />'

quotes[62]='Do you think of time moving from right to left, or left to right?<br />'

quotes[63]='Race to red lights. They&rsquo;ll be green when you get there.<br />'

quotes[64]='Well it&rsquo;s split milk under the bridge now.<br />'

quotes[65]='Money is but one way to keep score.<br />'

quotes[66]='Are you happy with how you grew up? What would you the child say about you the adult?<br />'

quotes[67]='Do you vote like your parents?<br />'

quotes[68]='Each and every morning you have to say to yourself &#147;Feet. Hit the floor.&#148;<br />'

quotes[69]='Never drink in bars that reek of disinfectant.<br />'

quotes[70]='If you continually bite your tongue eventually you grow sick of the taste.<br />'

quotes[71]='Think climate, not weather. One hot day does not a heat wave make.<br />'

quotes[72]='Parenting rule #206: It&rsquo;s never fun until someone gets hurt.<br />'

quotes[73]='Give gifts that you&rsquo;d want to receive yourself.<br />'

quotes[74]='The mute button, by far the most important button on your remote.<br />'

quotes[75]='Never trust coffee you can see through, coffee in styrofoam cups, or anything called coffee served in an airplane.<br />'

quotes[76]='Never mistake good sex for true love. Which one are you looking for?<br />'

quotes[77]='Have you ever sent a dollar to the address on the Dr. Bronner&rsquo;s soap bottle? Try it!<br />'

quotes[78]='The dust at the bottom of the cereal box. Pitch it or eat it? Does it depend on which cereal it is?<br />'

quotes[79]='Try brushing your teeth with the opposite hand for a week. And then switch back. Which feels normal?.<br />'

quotes[80]='If you don&#146;t have paint on your car, you don&#146;t have any reason to honk.<br />'

quotes[81]='Do you remember what you dreamed last night?<br />'

quotes[82]='Do you order the same thing when you go to your favorite restaurant?<br />'

quotes[83]='Quick! What phase is the moon in right now?<br />'

quotes[84]='Mere fertility is no guarantee of good parenting skills.<br />'

quotes[85]='Do you have a lone roll of film stashed somewhere that needs to be developed?<br />'

quotes[86]='Have you named your demons? Do you tease each other? Have you made your peace with them? Yet?<br />'

quotes[87]='What part of youth do you not want to share with your own children?<br />'

quotes[88]='Has there ever been a period in your life when you lost all faith?<br />'

quotes[89]='When was the last time you smelled a skunk?<br />'

quotes[90]='Everyone has baggage. Compatability is finding a matched set.<br />'

quotes[91]='What&rsquo;s the youngest memory you can recall? Pleasant or sad?<br />'

quotes[92]='What secret(s) will you take with you to your grave?<br />'

quotes[93]='How many constellations can you identify? Would you like to know more?<br />'

quotes[94]='Do you know any of your co-workers&rsquo; parents?<br />'

quotes[95]='Start flossing everyday and stop lying to your dental hygienist every six months.<br />'

quotes[96]='Arguing as only lovers can.<br />'

quotes[97]='Remember: roll the window down and then spit.<br />'

quotes[98]='Not all of you could have been priests in ancient Egypt. Some of you had to be work-a-day schmucks.<br />'

quotes[99]='How much do you know about your own birth?<br />'

quotes[100]='Name three of your personal rituals and superstitions.<br />'

quotes[101]='God doesn&rsquo;t give us tests He thinks we can&rsquo;t pass.<br />'

quotes[102]='Do you get dressed out of the laundry basket?<br />'

quotes[103]='Foods that cause gas are not OK when camping in a small tent.<br />'

quotes[104]='An office without beer is merely a place to work.<br />'

quotes[105]='If they&rsquo;re really psychic, why do they have to advertise on late night TV?<br />'

quotes[106]='We all have the right to make our own mistakes.<br />'

quotes[107]='The politics of coffee.<br />'

quotes[108]='Sometimes when I&rsquo;m bored I want produce from another planet.<br />'

quotes[109]='If you&rsquo;re reading this, assume that life is good.<br />'

quotes[110]='The glass is always half full. If you assume it&rsquo;s half empty it might come true.<br />'

quotes[111]='The more love you give, the more love you receive. Yes, it really is that simple.<br />'

quotes[112]='A true warrior doesn&rsquo;t need a gun. The battles s/he wins are not against external enemies.<br />'

quotes[113]='Share of yourself and be rewarded in kind.<br />'

quotes[114]='The more you do for others, the more others do for you.<br />'

quotes[115]='No creature wants to suffer or feel pain. Help others obtain joy.<br />'

quotes[116]='Never underestimate the vibration of flowers and their ability to affect internal change within us.<br />'

quotes[117]='At some point we all need to heal our wounds. Thicker scabs don&rsquo;t count.<br />'

quotes[118]='Reach out to someone who needs your love. You have it to share.<br />'

quotes[119]='Avoid passing your pain on to others. Transmute it through spiritual alchemy.<br />'

quotes[120]='Don&rsquo;t expect others to make your life better.<br />'

quotes[121]='Look in the mirror. If you don&rsquo;t like who you see, change.<br />'

quotes[122]='We&rsquo;re more alike than dissimilar.<br />'

quotes[123]='Search for and celebrate what&rsquo;s different between us. I will if you will.<br />'

quotes[124]='Love is its own reward.<br />'

quotes[125]='That person you find hard to love? You both need it.<br />'

quotes[126]='We grow through our children as much as we raise them.<br />'

quotes[127]='Language molds the world. Write and speak deliberately, from your heart.<br />'

quotes[128]='Actions, positive or negative, don&rsquo;t go unrewarded.<br />'

quotes[129]='No. Television is fiction. That stuff in front of you, that&rsquo;s real.<br />'

quotes[130]='Tell those close to you that you love them before it&rsquo;s too late.<br />'

quotes[131]='Luck is only part of the equation. Don&rsquo;t put too much weight in it.<br />'

quotes[132]='There&rsquo;s every reason to believe that tomorrow will be better.<br />'

quotes[133]='Hatred poisons your heart and we don&rsquo;t want that now do we?<br />'

quotes[134]='Grief is a process, not an event. Give it time.<br />'

quotes[135]='That which is hardest to do is often the most rewarding.<br />'

quotes[136]='Someone helped you. Go help someone else.<br />'

quotes[137]='Actions have consquences. Make sure you know where your ripples touch the pond&rsquo;s shore.<br />'

quotes[138]='We can&rsquo;t learn each other&rsquo;s lesson. We need to step out of the way yet be there when help is needed.<br />'

quotes[139]='Would people who know you well be surprised if they saw a list of your passwords?<br />'

quotes[140]='No loose ends. Live a life without loose ends.<br />'

quotes[141]='Buy flowers for someone you love. No, I mean today!<br />'

quotes[142]='It&rsquo;s not the cards you&rsquo;re dealt but how you play your hand.<br />'

quotes[143]='16, 18, 21, 30... For most of us, adulthood comes gradually in waves.<br />'

quotes[144]='The world is so often a reflection of ourselves. Our internal lenses sometimes distort our view.<br />'

quotes[145]='It always seems to start with an itch. An innocent itch...<br />'

quotes[146]='I&rsquo;m from Cleveland. Assume I have nothing to lose.<br />'

quotes[147]='If gambling is about winning, sorry but I&rsquo;m betting against you.<br />'

quotes[148]='What use is a tachometer in a car with an automatic transmission?<br />'

quotes[149]='Direct knowledge is true wisdom.<br />'

quotes[150]='Meditate for others more than for yourself.<br />'

quotes[151]='Bring meditation into all aspects of your daily life, not just sitting.<br />'

quotes[152]='Invest in your spiritual growth. It is true wealth.<br />'

quotes[153]='Bring meditation into your life. Put your life into your meditation.<br />'

quotes[154]='Humans aren&rsquo;t perfect. Neither are religions.<br />'

quotes[155]='Would you steal if you knew you wouldn&rsquo;t get caught? Lie if you could get away with it?.<br />'

quotes[156]='Are your morals absolute or do you make exceptions and bend the rules?<br />'

quotes[157]='Do you give enough to charities? Give enough that you miss the money?<br />'

quotes[158]='Meditation is not about doing nothing. It&rsquo;s a very active process. It&rsquo;s actually hard work.<br />'

quotes[159]='Almost all flavors of fundamentalism are bad, including yours and mine.<br />'

quotes[160]='Does honesty exist in a vacuum? Are you ethical when you&rsquo;re all alone?<br />'

quotes[161]='Shine a bright light on your blind spots.<br />'

quotes[162]='Cause and effect, actions have consquences.<br />'

quotes[163]='Love centers around acceptance and forgiveness.<br />'

quotes[164]='Why train to be a dinosaur veterinarian? Think tomorrow, not today.<br />'

quotes[165]='If you do charitable work in order to hear &#34;thank you&#34;, you&rsquo;re doing it for the wrong reason.<br />'

quotes[166]='Unless you&rsquo;re talking about charity, money and emotions should never be mixed.<br />'

quotes[167]='Hire the person, not the job description.<br />'

quotes[168]='3 things you don&rsquo;t want to hear in a traffic jam: screeching brakes, an approaching siren, &#34I feel sick. Oops, too late&#34.<br />'

quotes[169]='Dating is like shopping. It doesn&rsquo;t mean you&rsquo;ll buy anything and take it home with you.<br />'

quotes[170]='Talk to strangers. Yield to others.<br />'

quotes[171]='When you add up your life, is it an integer or a fraction?<br />'

quotes[172]='Started your Christmas shopping yet?<br />'

quotes[173]='Does your drivers license expire on your next birthday?<br />'

quotes[174]='What foreign currency most impacts your day-to-day life? Any?<br />'

quotes[175]='Why do cartoon characters always have only 3 fingers?<br />'

quotes[176]='A free lunch is a meal to be savored.<br />'

quotes[177]='Your mission: a lifestyle that doesn&rsquo;t create landfill.<br />'

quotes[178]='You can always tell which toy was designed by another parent.<br />'

quotes[179]='Never confuse politicians with leaders.<br />'

quotes[180]='Beware: marketing types want your soul.<br />'

quotes[181]='Calculus, where cheating in algebra catches up with you.<br />'

quotes[182]='Call if you don&rsquo;t get this message.<br />'

quotes[183]='Don&rsquo;t cross picket lines. Someone&rsquo;s trying to feed their family.<br />'

quotes[184]='Acupuncture works.<br />'

quotes[185]='Growing up is supposed to be hard sometimes. It&rsquo;s often painful and sometimes messy.<br />'

quotes[186]='Yes, change really does begin with you. Better get started.<br />'

quotes[187]='Call your mother. Call your father. Honor your parents.<br />'

quotes[188]='Do you think spirituality is hard-wired into us? Have we evolved to believe?<br />'

quotes[189]='Time is a non-renewable resource. Don&rsquo;t waste it.<br />'

quotes[190]='How much does your recycling bin tell about you?<br />'

quotes[191]='Marry me, marry my job.<br />'

quotes[192]='Family: those you can never divorce.<br />'

quotes[193]='How old do you think you&rsquo;ll be when you die?<br />'

quotes[194]='Save money before you spend any. Pay yourself first.<br />'

quotes[195]='Do you always buy the same soap, toothpaste, and shampoo? Why? Try something new for once.<br />'

quotes[196]='Does your phone number spell anything? Have you checked?<br />'

quotes[197]='Movie sequels are almost always a letdown. Why bother with them.<br />'

quotes[198]='Do you know any of your co-workers&rsquo; children?<br />'

quotes[199]='Do you eat standing over the sink?<br />'

quotes[200]='What was the last new word you learned? When was that?<br />'

quotes[201]='Words carry weight. Consider their impact before you speak.<br />'

quotes[202]='Sex: perhaps no other part of the human existence is so misunderstood.<br />'

quotes[203]='Do you Google those you date?<br />'

quotes[204]='Sex is supposed to be messy and leave stains.<br />'

quotes[205]='Sex is part of a healthy lifestyle.<br />'

quotes[206]='Skin, touch, bodily fluids, and slightly twisted imagination. Life is good.<br />'

quotes[207]='Business: without the risk of failure, what fun is it?<br />'

quotes[208]='Some things in life can be considered tuition for the school of hard knocks.<br />'

quotes[209]='Some experiences are home grown MBA&rsquo;s. Real world stuff they don&rsquo;t teach you in business school.<br />'

quotes[210]='If you can dig a hole, you darn well better be able to fill it in.<br />'

quotes[211]='That nefarious zone where fashion and disease meet. No, really.<br />'

quotes[212]='You have no idea how much I love my kids. They know even less.<br />'

quotes[213]='Sometimes ya gotta make the mistakes to learn the lessons within.<br />'

quotes[214]='Two or more people and you&rsquo;ve got politics on your hands.<br />'

quotes[215]='The smart can be re-educated. The rest, well...<br />'

quotes[216]='I&rsquo;m not sure how smart I am. I just keep my eyes open as I make mistakes in life.<br />'

quotes[217]='Parenting often involves consistent and firm compassion.<br />'

quotes[218]='Making a decision can pale in comparison to following through with it.<br />'

quotes[219]='When your partner isn&rsquo;t home do you still sleep on your side of the bed?<br />'

quotes[220]='Think meditating for 20 minutes a day is asking too much? Look at today&rsquo;s headlines. It&rsquo;s the least we can do.<br />'

quotes[221]='Today IS ma&ntilde;ana.<br />'

quotes[222]='You never have too much RAM, too big a hard drive, or a fast enough processor.<br />'

quotes[223]='It&rsquo;s hard to go bad when you do good.<br />'

quotes[224]='It&rsquo;s hard to watch your kids suffer. We always think we can help more than we usually can.<br />'

quotes[225]='Buy and give flowers before you&rsquo;re in trouble. It&rsquo;s a good investment.<br />'

quotes[226]='Our children are payback for what we did as kids.<br />'

quotes[227]='As we grow older and wiser, we leave less turbulence in our wake.<br />'

quotes[228]='Make perfect footprints; walk straight and true.<br />'

quotes[229]='My inner avatar isn&rsquo;t amused. Nope, not one bit.<br />'

quotes[230]='Do-overs in life a rare. If you love someone, act accordingly. Don&rsquo;t ldie with things unsaid, deeds undone.<br />'

quotes[231]='Yes, I&rsquo;m stridently indifferent. Without a doubt.<br />'

quotes[232]='You&rsquo;re not blonde. That&rsquo;s just the color you picked up off the shelf. This time.<br />'

quotes[233]='Beware: Drink martinis when you&rsquo;re thirsty and you&rsquo;ll be drunk before your thirst is quenched.<br />'

quotes[234]='Everyone gets there. Some of us just take the long way home.<br />'

quotes[235]='Strive to make smaller mistakes less frequently.<br />'

quotes[236]='Humans are the only animal with pre-knowledge of their own death. Live accordingly.<br />'

quotes[237]='Have you made arrangements for your survivors to recover all your passwords and PINs? Now would be a really good time to take care of this.<br />'

quotes[238]='What would Windows be without Solitaire?<br />'

quotes[239]='Love and compassion. It really is that simple.<br />'

quotes[240]='Make sure the water works *before* you put soap on your hands. Or shampoo in your hair. Just a suggestion.<br />'

quotes[241]='True spirituality is inclusive, embracing all others. Sorta rules out fundamentalists doesn&rsquo;t it?<br />'

quotes[242]='Meditation is like dental floss; good for us, inexpensive, and yields rewards over time. Oh, and not enough of us do it.<br />'

quotes[243]='Remember when planes had empty seats on them?<br />'

quotes[244]='The truth is usually easier to live with than getting caught in a lie.<br />'

quotes[245]='Young men often take 20, 25 years to mature. I did. (This is from the father of three teen-aged sons.)<br />'

quotes[246]='Don&rsquo;t wait til the eulogy to tell someone you love them. Otherwise they won&rsquo;t hear you.<br />'

quotes[247]='Sometimes there is no magic bullet. Buckshot is the best you can do.<br />'

quotes[248]='Beware of mixing emotions and money. It&rsquo;s rarely a good combination.<br />'

quotes[249]='Two newspapers, two horoscopes. Why don&rsquo;t they ever agree?.<br />'

quotes[250]='Every mistake is a  chance to learn something new, to get something right.<br />'

quotes[251]='If you create a monster, it&rsquo;s your dragon to slay.<br />'

quotes[252]='Know when to say no.<br />'

quotes[253]='We all enjoy free will. With it comes cause and effect. Use it wisely.<br />'

quotes[254]='We all have free will. With it comes cause and effect. Use it wisely...<br />'

quotes[255]='Sometimes I don&rsquo;t understand life. Other times I&rsquo;m just bemused.<br />'

quotes[256]='Any time spent brushing up against the Divine is time well spent.<br />'

quotes[257]='Buying a house means spending money you haven&rsquo;t made yet.<br />'

quotes[258]='Sunset doesn&rsquo;t know you, won&rsquo;t wait for you, or care if you&rsquo;re late.<br />'

quotes[259]='Chemistry: that which gets you wet.<br />'

quotes[260]='Build once and Long Tail the hell outta it.<br />'

quotes[261]='It&rsquo;s easier to define and defend a niche. The smaller, the better.<br />'

quotes[262]='If all it took is scribbles on a napkin an hour before last call, bars would be entrepreneurial hotbeds.<br />'

quotes[263]='The truth often hurts but only when it should.<br />'

quotes[264]='A week without greens on the table just ain&rsquo;t right.<br />'

quotes[265]='Life is a ride. Please keep your hands and head inside the vehicle at all times.<br />'

quotes[266]='Ahhhh, older women. Bordeaux isn&rsquo;t the only thing that improves with age.<br />'

quotes[267]='Make the bed if you want to get invited back into it.<br />'

quotes[268]='Anyone can buy wine or flowers. Show up with champagne and orchids.<br />'

quotes[269]='A good Sunday dinner can feed the family all week.<br />'

quotes[270]='Divorce is expensive. It costs a lot too.<br />'

quotes[271]='Our parents came before us so we can have grandchildren. Like waves we come and go out of the ocean.<br />'

quotes[272]='It&rsquo;s better for us to bury our parents than they us.<br />'

quotes[273]='You can judge a neighborhood by its used bookstores.<br />'

quotes[274]='Relax. Breath. Everything will unfold as it should.<br />'

quotes[275]='It&rsquo;s sometimes too easy to cheat when the bar is set too low.<br />'

quotes[276]='Never substitute pity when compassion is what&rsquo;s needed.<br />'

quotes[277]='Watch closely those who always tell you how honest they are.<br />'

quotes[278]='Yes, it&rsquo;s called samsara. Take a number, get in line, we could be here awhile. Some of us have a plan to get outta here early. Follow me...<br />'

quotes[279]='The kind of person who checks the boxes marked other and all of the above.<br />'

quotes[280]='One of the best things in life is not knowing when you&rsquo;ll die, freeing us to live every day to its fullest.<br />'

quotes[281]='If you wipe someone&rsquo;s ass don&rsquo;t complain about getting shit on your hands.<br />'

quotes[282]='You can lead a horse to water but sometimes you have to dunk its head under.<br />'

quotes[283]='You can live in the past or create the future. You can&rsquo;t do both.<br />'

quotes[284]='There are no do-overs in reincarnation.<br />'

quotes[285]='You know it&rsquo;s bad when your astrologer forgets your birthday.<br />'

quotes[286]='Look out. The ice is thin and the weather&rsquo;s warming.<br />'

quotes[287]='Reflecting on an intimate understanding of individual suffering.<br />'

quotes[288]='By 16 you&rsquo;re old enough to fuck up your own life. Proceed with caution.<br />'

quotes[289]='Don&rsquo;t bother keeping score for a game I&rsquo;m not even acknowledging let alone playing.<br />'

quotes[290]='It&rsquo;ts sometimes easier to just do it, than it is to talk about doing it.<br />'

quotes[291]='In many ways, life is never more precious than at the moment of death. Second only to birth itself.<br />'

quotes[292]='Advice is like medicine. It doesn&rsquo;t work in the bottle. You have to take it.<br />'

quotes[293]='We often spend more time avoiding the inevitable instead of doing the obvious.<br />'

quotes[294]='The best you can do is to manage the variables under your control.<br />'

quotes[295]='My toothpaste and and shaving cream both come in tubes. I have to remember not to confuse them.<br />'

quotes[296]='You can&rsquo;t unburn toast. Think twice before speaking in anger.<br />'

quotes[297]='Life&rsquo;s a riddle. Go figure it out.<br />'

quotes[298]='Design for the worst, settle for the best.<br />'

quotes[299]='Often we don&rsquo;t learn til we&rsquo;re older that sometimes you can&rsquo;t win because you&rsquo;re young.<br />'

quotes[300]='Emotional immaturity born of spiritual ignorance.<br />'

quotes[301]='It&rsquo;s not what you have but what you do with it.<br />'

quotes[302]='Sometimes what we really need is the opposite of what we want.<br />'

quotes[303]='Keep trying. Sometimes you run out of mistakes and are left with the right answer.<br />'

quotes[303]='Someone can give you the knife but you have to cut the veil of samsara yourself.<br />'

quotes[304]='The difference between friends and family? You can pick and choose among your friends.<br />'

quotes[305]='It&rsquo;s the depth of the passion not the name of the faith that matters.<br />'

quotes[306]='Undo is your friend. So is CTL-ALT-DEL.<br />'

quotes[307]='Don&rsquo;t waste time looking for what ain&rsquo;t there.<br />'

quotes[308]='Trust: better to maintain it than try to regain it.<br />'

quotes[309]='Parents: you can&rsquo;t grow up for your kids. They have to do it all by themselves.<br />'

quotes[310]='Young at heart but no longer so innocent...<br />'

quotes[311]='Ruts are as hard to get out of as they are easy to fall into.<br />'

quotes[312]='Your hair may be yellow but you&rsquo;re not blonde. Can&rsquo;t fool me!<br />'

quotes[313]='Think I&rsqo;m harsh? I&rsqo;m easier on others than I am on myself.<br />'

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