Dating, online and otherwise
Dating isn't what it used to be. And it never will be again. The net changed all that. A global, anonymous mixing bowl of potential partners. Whether paid sites like Match or eHarmony, or free wheeling craigslist personals, anyone can do it. And everyone seems to be.
Not only has the internet changed dating, it's changed cheating too. Partners (current and ex-) search the other's email, text messages, voicemail, IM, MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, whatever. Ever notice how often "craigslist" is mentioned on Law & Order?.
Online dating harbors little of the stigma it once did. One is no longer labeled a loser for using the net to hunt/shop/forage. As craigslist has undermined newspaper classifieds and travel sites have dealt a blow to travel agents, online dating sites like match.com, nerve, eHarmony, et al. have unraveled traditional face-to-face dating. Are you ashamed to tell family and friends how you met your latest mate? Speaking of which, how honest are you online when you described yourself? How honest were they?
Ladies, if you're going to use craigslist to shop for a man (or any other dating site for that matter), please take a moment to read my advice for women and craigslist. Being a free country, you're free to ignore part or all of what I have to say. Otherwise you may find yourself guilty of these known craigslist sins. You may, just may, find that heeding some of my suggestions will aid in your search for Mr. Right (or Mr. Wrong if that's your kink. See "samsara".)
Women and men are different. Feminism and PC aside, never underestimate social inertia coupled with evolutionary hardwiring. Equal protection and equal rights, but not equivalent. Not even close. That's the nature of the alchemy. That which is behind what is commonly called "chemistry".
Never confuse great sex with true love. Cherish the times when they do overlap. But don't be blind to whichever one is before you. Misidentification has its price. On of the joys of being older is sex is no longer about procreation. It's decoupled from making babies. In fact, for many of us our babies are babies any more. BTW, non-menstruating women are great! Why? Because you're dealing with only one personality not 28 cyclical ones. You stand a chance of knowing who you're dealing with; today, tomorrow, and next week.
We all have baggage. Compatability can be defined as a matching set. We're often cobblers for each other. All said and done, in my experience, most people want family, however that's defined. This too is hardwired in.
One of online dating's shortcomings is the ease with which connections are made and broken. A shallowness can seep into one's online life because the anonymity of one's online persona allows for behavior one would admit was rude and somewhat callous in person. The social checks and balances are missing without face to face contact coupled with personal identification. Be nice, play fair, and don't hurt anyone.
Alas alack. It appears that the balance of power still rests with women, online and off. I'm always shocked when I hear women talk about the flood of rsponses they get. The inverse of a man's experience I'm afraid.
