First things first: I'm not a native. I moved to Seattle in 1986 from Boston (by way of Ann Arbor and before that Cleveland). I'd like to share some of the things I've gleaned during the 20-odd years I've called Seattle home. It may not be what you were expecting and if you grew up here you may not agree with I've got to say (or like me for saying it).

I'm fond of saying, "I have to leave in order to stay." Seattle is beautiful, laid back, progressive, diverse, and relatively hip. Honestly, there's a lot to like about the place. That's why I moved here. It's far from perfect but I'm not leaving any time soon (if ever). My perspective is undoubtedly skewed because I have three kids born and raised here, I have a buncha close friends in town, and I live and work in West Seattle, arguably Seattle's best neighborhood IMHO.

If you're visiting Seattle as a tourist

Drop your preconceived notions about Seattle before you leave home. No, it does not rain here all the time. Yes, it is cloudy. Summers are wonderful but too short. Winters are too long but it usually only snows once a year. Drive less than an hour and ski in the mountains (at home there's nothing to shovel).

We take our coffee and beer seriously and there's a really good chance that if you're from just about anywhere else in the US, we taught you about both. When in Seattle, do not go to Starbucks. Let me repeat that: don't drink Starbucks in Seattle. There are scores of independent coffe houses in Seattle. You can only enjoy them here. So while you're visiting, seek out indie coffee shops and buy beans to take home made by local roasters.

Microbrewed beer is all over town. Explore the microbreweries, many of whom are in neighborhoods outside of downtown. Ask what local beers are available whenever and wherever you eat. Many breweries only do kegs sold through bars and restaurants. The same goes for wine but I'm a beer guy. Wine, you're on your own.

The biggest piece of advice I can give any Seattle visitor is to ignore The Blue Map. They must print millions of them because I've been seeing them in confused and lost people's hands for years. You could ignore the area between the stadiums and Seattle Center, the water and I-5 and get a better sense of Seattle than if you stayed within the area delineated by the dreaded Blue Map. YMMV

If you're thinking about moving to Seattle

Please don't. There are enough people here already. There's too little vacant land in the city itself, the suburbs are godawfulugly. Every one of them. Commute? You have no idea how bad it is.

Oh. Are you moving from somewhere else? Have you looked at Seattle real estate prices lately? You're in for sticker shock. Sticker shock like you won't believe.

Just stay put.

If you live in Seattle

City or burbs? Own or rent? 99 or I-5? Weekly or Stranger? Starbucks [Y/N]?

If you live in Seattle, north or south of the canal? Do your kids go to public school? PCC [Y/N]? McGinn [Y/N]? And what about the f*cking viaduct? Tunnel? Seawall? Rail???

When was the last time you set foot on Rainier? Ever? Name two Port of Seattle commissioners. Heck, how many are there total? Do you know more people who work at Boeing or in software? Ever eaten lutefisk?

You realizde the bagels here are for sh*t, don't you? I used to bring them back in my luggage when I went back to Boston or New York.

I tend to avoid the natives and gravitate towards other out of state refugees. Suits me just fine. But hey, like I said, I genuinely like the place. Consider it home.

Pssst... I'm going to share some tips on orienting yourself and getting around Seattle, where to eat and drink, what to see and do, and other misc. tips and tricks. I know my way around town and have a rep for giving great driving tours. While these modest pages aren't meant to be an end-all-be-all guide they do offer things you won't find downtown on the blue map. If nothing else, the tips herein will help you break out of the rote tourist circuit, orient you to your new home, help you decide if you want to visit, or let you do some armchair traveling from the comfort of your own home. This might even inspire you to write up something about your hometown (hint, hint).

There are less trees here than you'd think. White folks cut them down a long time ago. The beaches in town are pristine compared to elsewhere. The default politeness practiced here flips New Yorkers (and others) out. Living here so long has left me bored with salmon. Bald eagles and coyotes common in my neighborhood (98116-1661). People bike everywhere, all the time. If you like blackberries, you'll be glad to know that they're weeds here. The good news is that very few people, including the City, spray poison on plants.

Enough of me blathering on and on about Skeedattle. Use the navigation on the left to learn how to get around, what to put in your mouth, how to keep from getting bored, and how to spend your money. Good luck and enjoy!